I'm not sure why this has been on my heart lately. It may be the fact that the end of residency is quickly approaching for me (Blake), that one of my (and Jaclyn's) best friends in the entire world (and his quickly growing family) is considering leaving in a year to pursue fellowship, or that Lilly is growing up so fast, but God has really been challenging me to cherish today. So many times I get worried, anxious and sometimes overwhelmed about what is coming up in the future, be it months, or even years from today. I feel that somehow if I could just get through today, then I would be one step closer to my goals. Then at the end of the day, I lay down knowing deeply in my heart that I have wasted that day simply going through the motions. I long to cherish the time that I have been given. I know that no day is guaranteed, and I have seen this personally multiple times in my line of work. How many parents would love to have just one more day with their child who died from cancer or who was taken from them in a horrible car wreck?
When Jaclyn and I are honest, we long for the "future" when residency is over, when work settles down, and we can just spend time as a family. There is a peace in knowing that this day will hopefully come one day, but at the same time, we don't think about what that wishes away. There are no gifts from God greater than our next breath, our next morning, our next day at work. With that morn, come opportunities to serve others at the hospital, to love Lilly and watch her grow day by day, and to grow as a child of God. What I hope and pray is that I will live each day with this realization. God has my future already planned; HE has done the work; HE is in control. So, despite what circumstances God manipulates in my path (whether they be great triumphs or what I see as major failures), I just HAVE to trust that HE knows what is best. This is the only thing that offers me the freedom to enjoy the present.
Ok, here's another picture of Lilly taken this weekend. Grammy came down and help her discover computers! We love all of you!
